It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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