when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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