I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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