you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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