I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you would pick up someone in the library
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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