im drinking this country out of the recession.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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