i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
