Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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