32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
