I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
