Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
