so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
