there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Slut skills are useful in every country.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Randomize
