I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
