Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
