Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
