I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
