Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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