heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
