i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
