So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
