Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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