Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
jump out the window naked night went bad
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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