Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
