Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
