as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
