I'm gonna have a badass scar
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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