She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
