and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
