were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
