Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
