I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
worst night to have a conscience
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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