Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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