I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
