I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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