Yo dont text me then not text me
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
