i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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