Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
