I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
