never play flip cup with pint glasses
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
