my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
