for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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