I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
