his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
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