K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
