wat bout pragnant strippers??
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
