I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
