Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
