i would punch a child for taco bell
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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