i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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