I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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