Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
