I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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