I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
