Your mouth is God's brothel.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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