Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
