I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
