I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
