i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
