Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
